CIAO

FOXTROT

Because of my gut feel that nobody is reading this blog anymore, I have decided to become a rooster prick and create a new one. Still on blogger, I just wanted to find out who still reads the shit I write and yeah, also to accomodate the fact that I'm living a new chapter of my loser life. This time though I won't be telling you "explicitly" where I am moving to. The catch is, if you do care about my trash words, then you'll do the honor of spending time looking for it. (Well not unless I am gracious enough to give it to you personally or "your common sense is enough to figure it out". Haha) Anyway, for the loyal reader, here are some clues that might help you:

-It's a phrase from one of the films that I frequently refer to (God this is a no brainer)
-It's the "alternate" for milkshake in one of my favorite scenes in that film
-I have used that phrase in one of my (most) recent entries

Well, if you think I'm a prick and don't want to play like an asshole in my dumb game but you still want to know the URL and continue stalking me, then you can still do so by becoming a bigger asshole through writing a one-page reaction paper (Arial, 10, 1 inch margin on all sides, 1.5 line spacing) about your favorite entry from this blog and send it to my email. Yes, I am a prick indeed.

Well actually, the new one's still under construction (meaning, I might still be posting here for a while) but if you're wise enough to get there now, do leave a message in the tagboard so I can link you and like you a hundred times more. The first five readers who would get there would win free tickets of my first theatrical feature, to be released 50 years from now.

PART DEUX?

After having watched Before Sunrise and Before Sunset for the one hundred and sixty fourth time, it finally came to me that if indeed I want to experience meeting my own Celine, I should start riding the train more often, or so at least the LRT. On the contrary, I'd rather not for all I know, I'd just end up seeing familiar faces which I'd rather not see most especially if I'm having an I-want-to-castrate-a-person-because-humanity-sucks kind of day. But then again, Jesse wasn't at his best when he met Celine, after just having broken up with his girlfriend from Madrid.

The truth of the matter is, the one true realization that came out from this one hundred sixty fourth viewing is the possibility of making (a) sequel/s for my cult baby Oneironauts. Despite having shunned this idea even before wrapping up the film, making a sequel in a situation where I am in isn't really about fame and fortune (a la Hollywood) more so. After having seen Jesse and Celine meet up again, and the fact that the sequel is better than the original (in my taste, so to speak) intrigues me. At the same time, it challenges me to do the same thing. I just love the idea of a character's recurring appearances in the works of a filmmaker (like Truffaut's Antoine Doinel), showing not just multiple stories of each phase in the life of that character rather it builds up to form one story in a life of a person.

Creating a sequel at this point in time would be a big risk. It opens the idea of limited creativity and originality as I know it would also raise a few eyebrows from some people critical of well works of other people (haha). But that doesn't matter. After all, my creation is my own decision. And of course, I always remain open to any criticism and suggestions. It's really a challenge I'm game facing.

This move is really more of an homage to Jesse and Celine (which I assume is a fact for the avid reader of this soon to be closed blog) and to love and life as well. As much as possible it is my goal to make a sequel that could stand alone, to prove also that my creation of such is really for the sake of telling my story. Perhaps through this, if I make it right, I might be able to show Mano Po a thing or two about the art of creating sequels (well, if indeed they consider those as art [Note by FM radio character: It hurts! It hurts you know!]) But then again, the cast might not even be back this time around. Hahaha! Well, this is after all a long term endeavor. And of course I wouldn't just be spending my entire filmmaking career (can I say that? career? haha) doing just this. Having said that, pre-production for 2/30 begins this week. Haha!

AS I WALKED OUT ONE EVENING

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror?
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

-W.H. Auden

LAST NIGHT

Before anything else, I would like to official declare the abolition of my anonymity rule in this blog. I figured since these shall be the last entries in this blog and the fact that I am starting anew, I might as well credit the people who well, I have been with lately - physically, spiritually and mentally (Go Magdalena! Good riddance to you.)

Last night was one of the most enjoyable nights I have spent so far this year, the happiness for a rare opportunity was not attributed to material satisfaction. After the mind grueling last day of exams, my friends and I decided to spend the night with the three things we loved doing the most - eating (and drinking coffee), singing and camwhoring. And so after the megrim-inducing Filipino finals, I met Eric, Justin, Kim, Ella, and Miguel at the spirit-of-the-forest tree. Hanging out for a while, Jan, Pre, Ais and Bernice also stopped by to formally give their goodbyes to Justin and I as part of the block. Childishness also emanated once more with Miguel bringing a soccer ball as we spent quite some time attempting to hit Ella with it in the face. Later on Luis came and decided to join us. Minutes later, we left for Greenhills. Us boys rode with Luis as Miguel and Ella dated with Kim as their third wheel.

Upon arriving at the place, we dropped by at Fully Booked to see a copy of Sei Shonagon's Pillow Book, which nobody had any sense of interest to purchase it. We then pigged out at Burgoo where had a blast doodling at the paper table cover - Ella showing us her talent in drawing cartoon characters reminiscent of those fake commodities one would see in the local tiangge. Luis also had a great time drying his pants, feeling the stickiness of the softdrink seeping through his corduroy, which Miguel and Eric adored; and yes, thank God for bottomless drinks. After stuffing ourselves, we then proceeded to go to the Family KTV whatchamacallit nearby. We spent two hours singing our asses off, selecting dozens of songs, without being able to finish more than 5. Of course, Ella once more attempted to become a diva beating the mic as notes started to fill the room. Together with Miguel, they sang the mushiest (Truly Madly Deeply, Iris) and the gayest (Push the Button, Cheeky Girls). As usual, I also tried to scream my lungs out but it was Justin who ended up with the Inday Garutay voice at the end of the night. Eric also sang his neverending Chinese song/s as Luis also joined the belters after DJ-ing. Typical of Kim, she never held the mic albeit she joined in some of the singing. After Closing Time, we then decided to go back to Katipunan. Before going home, we dropped by Starbucks for some coffee. Luis had to leave early though since he still had to meet the missus. Ella too left early as she was picked up by her kuya and their red car. An hour or so later, we decided to call it a night.

[freeze]

Voiceover: The 5 parted their ways - Miguel rode his car, Eric walked home while Kim and Justin waited for Mark to get a cab. The three stood awkward as no taxi passed by. As soon as Mark got his ride, he waved goodbye and left. It was the last time they saw each other.

Hahaha!

WHERE IS FREEDOM? WHERE IS JUSTICE?

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it." -Aung San Suu Kyi

Aung San Suu Kyi is the epitome of democracy. She is a patron of nonviolence (inspired by the life of Mahatma Gandhi) and pro-democracy yet she remains a prisoner of conscience (the only imprisoned Nobel Peace Prize recipient) because of a military tyranny in her own country despite the many appeals of the UN, artists and other international organizations and even the democratic people of Burma. In spite of the Burmese government's disregard, we shall continue fighting for Aung San Suu Kyi's freedom. Join the fight for democracy and register at www.actionburma.com.

"I prefer not to interfere too much with what is going on in the world, but when someone has been thrown into a hole and they ask you to throw down a rope, I am happy to look for a rope, especially for a woman of such grace." -Damien Rice

HAMOG

Kanina nang mapatabi ako sa aking durungawan, akala ko biglang nagbago ang ihip ng hangin sa gitna ng napakainit na tag-araw... Uulan lang pala.

HERE I COMM!

Finally after a year of confusion, months of deliberation and weeks of anticipation, my intention to shift has ultimately been met with approval. Few days from now, I shall no longer be a ComTech major under the JohnGokongweiSchoolofManagement and an official member of the R1 community. Indeed the three remaining days shall be my last as an affiliate of these institutions. I do not claim to be a celebrity, however I would like to take this opportunity to express my final message and formally bid my farewell to the people who have been a big part of the first leg of my journey in college.

No bullshit: Before I begin with the sentimentality, let me start this with all brutal honesty as it would be a shame if I would not be able to tell you this before I formally leave: I detest the concept of blocks and blockmates. I firmly believe the creation of such mechanism is mainly for those students who came from exclusive schools who have yet to experience the dynamics of boys and girls coexisting in a formal school setting. It is something that I have already experienced before, coming from a coed school, which I do not think is necessary in an environment where the focus should be on the individual. Let me be more frank by saying that I never really enjoyed being part of a block (perhaps the closest I ever felt that was when we took a 3-day vacation together, but come to think of it... not quite) Call me irrational or bitter for I do not really expect to convince you or assume your full comprehension of where I am getting at but if in case you wish to listen, I will be more than willing to tell you about it in person. The farewell therefore is not addressed to the block, for I have long said my goodbye to it. Rather, I want to focus more on the individual relationships, the personal bonds I have formed (if indeed there really were, discounting the depth or duration) within the 2 years. To you, I give my deepest gratitude for making college a little more colorful:

Jaron: This person I only had the chance to speak more because of Sci10. I thank you for the camaraderie and concern you have expressed during the times we were seatmates and sleepmates in class.

Ginjie: Remember ES? Save the Lake was one of the main reasons why we got to bond even just a bit. A good sport and a great model, I thank you for your wonderful presence. If it was not for you, I might have not received anything from the first R1 Awards. Thank you.

Mikko: The high spirit of the class. I thank you for your comedy, your frankness and your uniqueness. A day without your punchlines is truly quite different. Thank you for trusting me with your school works.

Tin: Hello gayness. One of the newcomers this year who I was already comfortable with in the first meeting. I appreciate your perkiness, with all the smiles you bear electronically and personally. You are truly one outstanding girl.

Cheska: The only person who attempted to cuddle (kadol) me and was successful in doing so. She described me one time as a serious person who is able talk some sense. I thank you for that Cheska.

Bojo: The person who wanted to give me the privilege of being the beadle for DannyChan's Law 11 class. I thank you for giving me that sense of respect. I am also thankful for that one time you shared your story, here's hoping you no longer wish to turn back time.

Justin: An amazing person able to bear all my antagonism and annoyance, thank you for being one hell of a sport. I am honored that you appreciate my writing, my thoughts and my opinions. Remember that you too are being listened to.

Ella: One of the first people I have met before college even officially started. I feel guilty because it has only been lately when I had the chance to know her more on a deeper level beyond school works. Thank you also for being able to deal with my ego.

Christa: I remember it was Eda's birthday and Christa was one of the brave few who tried to make me laugh. Although she failed, I did appreciate the gesture. One of the most natural people in class, thank you for bravely accepting the R1 Idol trophy.

Nikki: Like deodorant, Nikki won't let you down. A person you could really count on, I thank you for saving our Theology presentation. I remember last summer when you wanted to come with me to the shooting, despite not having made it, I appreciate the interest.

Inna: I don't know if she could recall the fact that she was my first seatmate during the Orsem. She seemed to be snobbish then, but everything changed as time went by. Thank you for giving me your trust, with all the school works and whatnot.

RJ: I was glad when I found out that we live in the same place. Starting last sem, I no longer had to endure the traffic by myself. I thank you for everything that you have shared to me, the trust and the respect. I truly appreciate them.

Ron: My co-crammer who would often send a message at dawn asking me if I had already started or finished studying or doing homework. Ron is also the person responsible in spreading those outrageous links in Youtube like the girl with the thing. Thanks for everything pare.

Kim: If there's one person who has endured the best and worst of me, this person has got to be it. Thank your for the patience, the concern, the candies, the hand sanitizers, the bathroom, the friendship, the understanding and yes, for being my yaya. Indeed, I am very much grateful.

Ice: The sole victim of my racism. I thank you for being patient and for being a good sport. For all the wonderful layouts, for the creative conversations, I thank you. Most of all, I thank you for the trust and for listening to everything my endless mouth had blabbered.

Danessa: One of the few people I knew I would get along with from the start because of our shared passion for leadership and service. Too bad, I had to let go of that. Despite that, I am proud that you continued to fight for what you believe in. I thank you for your trust.

Bernice: My seatmate in Math 11 who endured all of my side comments, my doodle... My insanity. I still remember that one time when we walked along Katipunan and you had to go through my never ending chat about papayas. Thank you for patience and your exuberance.

Pre: The first person in school to see id. and said she loved it. You never fail to make me feel relieved with your ever positive remarks. I thank you for that. Another victim of my name calling, thank you for being game and yes, Body Fuzion rules.

Rani: One of the people who have earned my respect. Rani is a jack of all trades. I thank you for that one instance when you helped me with LS, despite ma'am calling your name out during History. And for the many times you have made school easier, I thank you.

Jan: One of the few people who I trust with my narrations concerning my nonexistent love life. I always enjoy talking with you, regardless of what medium. Thank you also for entrusting me with your own stories. Indeed I will not forget the night I made you scream three times.

Eric: My perennial partner and groupmate. College life would be so much tougher without this guy. Now that I'm leaving, I guess it's time for us to test new waters. I am truly, deeply grateful for everything - the trust, the respect, the companionship and the friendship.

Eda: Another person I have already met online before Orsem. I miss the times when we were like children playing pretend, her being DJ Eda complete with ideas for a TV station; and no they weren't wholesome. I thank you for those fun times and the friendship.

Joyce: I don't have anything to say to you because I will still see you and you will be scoring my next short film. Well, for the mean time, let me thank you for the trust and the friendship; for being one of the fanatics of Oneironauts and my dream concepts.

Luis: I will never forget the one time when I talked about my concerns regarding transferring with him and he referred me to God. I truly believe that he is an outspoken person with hidden great wisdom. Thank you for that moment and for the many times you were a good friend.

Miguel: A person who is game in almost anything and everything - from guesting in the now defunct kraMTV to playing a closet gay in malPUNction, I thank you for your eagerness and encouragement, for the attempts to initiate a deep conversation and for your trust.

Gino: One of the very few who I was not able to know that much. It was only through PE101 where we had the chance to converse and be part of one group (although we were groupmates in ES also, one sem earlier) Thanks for being a wonderful person.

The cynical reader (who I must congratulate if he/she has no business with this yet has willingly read up to this spot) might be wondering why I am even spending time doing this instead of reviewing or creating something more productive. Well, the explanation is very simple. In life, human relations are inevitable. Despite the fact that this was not my main goal upon entering college, the connections I have made are what they are and I cannot do anything anymore to change that. I say with much honor that I am thankful for these things. However, the fact remains that my hibernation period is nearing its end and it is time once more for me to focus on the individual - on my self, on my own. And as I move on to the next leg of this journey, I take with me all that I have accomplished and created within the past 2 years. No more hesitation, no more distraction. The time has come for me to put my engine back into full power. At long last, here I Comm!

GUARDING TESSIE

Then: Sen. TessieAquino-Oreta, one of the three female senators who voted for "NO" (no for opening of the envelope), was seen on nationwide television and most people had the impression that she was dancing joyfully as the opposition walked out.

Now: "Tessie, bakit ka nag-Dancing Queen?"

TAO is back. Stronger than ever. And now showing on a television near you.

The cab driver who detested dirty politics whom I met a couple of weeks ago had most probably killed himself after having seen this ridiculous political ad of the former senator. Who wouldn't? Perhaps as deluding as the president's "I'm Sorry Speech" during the height of the Garci Scandal, the starlet of the Erap impeachment similarly fails to win any sense of sympathy from the ever-adamant Filipino spectator. You tell us it is from your mistakes from which you are to rise again and fight? Do us all a favor and deal with your ghosts in your own personal/ private life, away from the political arena if you truly are sincere.

Hey Mr. DJ put a record on, I want to dance with Miss Tessie. And please, no chacha this time. We all know Miss Tessie would like that, but she said she grew tired of it already. That was what she said on her speech right?

Forgiveness, madame is inevitable, redemption however is never to be expected - it is earned.