SHOULDA, WOULDA, COULDA
In Math, what do you do when you want to change the sign of a number from negative to positive? You have to transpose it or in simple words – move it from one side to the other. Right now, I am a negative number – irritated, uncertain and lost.
Since the day I had to decide what course I am to take up in college, I had no idea what specific field I want to focus on but I was pretty sure where I wanted to be. On one fateful day a year ago, there was this speaker from the university I craved to go to. Being in the state of confusion, desperation couldn’t be resisted as I asked which course best suits me. And thus, he recommended the one that I am taking up now. I should have known better.
Pride is such a prick. Had I chosen to go to the “other” university, I wouldn’t have problems like this. I would probably have a more suitable learning in the field I want to take up. Same thing goes to the “other” school in my recent college where the course closest to the one I best prefer is. It’s not that I’m having bad education in the place I am right now, it’s just that I strongly feel that it’s not what I need. With the rate this is going, who knows where I’d end up. I would have known better.
Yesterday, I had one of those moments which I consider one of my only sanctuaries in my recent college life; I attended a filmmaking seminar where directing is the topic and the speaker for the said activity was a young, well-known and award-winning director. Just when I thought that I wouldn’t have any feelings of regret because of the pleasure that I would be experiencing during the talk, the speaker narrates on how he had chosen the wrong path during the course of his life when he was just starting just like I am. Then he goes saying that he did everything and I mean everything in order for him to be back on the right track that includes going to UP, attending filmmaking seminars, making short films and studying filmmaking abroad. Need I say more? I could have known better.
The road of life is a maze. Why are there detours, intersections and expressways when you can just take one road that would take you to where you want to go? The answer – it makes life more exciting, more complicated and in the end more fulfilling. Eventually, all of this would be over. Next thing I’ll now, I’ll be on the Oscar podium with my first Oscar. Seriously, I hope everything would fall in place; after all these complications, that there would really be excitement instead of fright and eventually there would truly be fulfillment in this so-called life. For the last thing I want to say in the end are the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Since the day I had to decide what course I am to take up in college, I had no idea what specific field I want to focus on but I was pretty sure where I wanted to be. On one fateful day a year ago, there was this speaker from the university I craved to go to. Being in the state of confusion, desperation couldn’t be resisted as I asked which course best suits me. And thus, he recommended the one that I am taking up now. I should have known better.
Pride is such a prick. Had I chosen to go to the “other” university, I wouldn’t have problems like this. I would probably have a more suitable learning in the field I want to take up. Same thing goes to the “other” school in my recent college where the course closest to the one I best prefer is. It’s not that I’m having bad education in the place I am right now, it’s just that I strongly feel that it’s not what I need. With the rate this is going, who knows where I’d end up. I would have known better.
Yesterday, I had one of those moments which I consider one of my only sanctuaries in my recent college life; I attended a filmmaking seminar where directing is the topic and the speaker for the said activity was a young, well-known and award-winning director. Just when I thought that I wouldn’t have any feelings of regret because of the pleasure that I would be experiencing during the talk, the speaker narrates on how he had chosen the wrong path during the course of his life when he was just starting just like I am. Then he goes saying that he did everything and I mean everything in order for him to be back on the right track that includes going to UP, attending filmmaking seminars, making short films and studying filmmaking abroad. Need I say more? I could have known better.
The road of life is a maze. Why are there detours, intersections and expressways when you can just take one road that would take you to where you want to go? The answer – it makes life more exciting, more complicated and in the end more fulfilling. Eventually, all of this would be over. Next thing I’ll now, I’ll be on the Oscar podium with my first Oscar. Seriously, I hope everything would fall in place; after all these complications, that there would really be excitement instead of fright and eventually there would truly be fulfillment in this so-called life. For the last thing I want to say in the end are the words: shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Kram's cut at 4:20 PM |
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home