FALSE PROPHET

Life is developmental. It doesn’t just end the same way it began. Before there were humans there were primates. Before the continents there was Pangaea. And before I wanted to become a filmmaker, I envisioned myself as a journalist. One thing that got me interested in journalism is the opportunity to cover various topics be it world news, politics, entertainment, sports, etc. But there was one topic in the field of investigative journalism which gave me a great deal of thought provocation. As In had observed in television, one of the mostly used topics in investigative journalism is about false prophets. Little did I know that I’d turn out to become a false prophet myself…

For a number of months now, I have been in search of love - in streets, malls, classrooms and even in chat rooms. But what is love again? I have been so engrossed with it so much that I had forgotten what I am truly in search of. Love is a complex word. It is something known to everyone but cannot be defined easily. It takes knowledge, philosophy and even experience for one to fully cover not the topic but the essence of love. Among these three, the most important has to be experience.

I could not discern whether it is trust or desperation which makes some people to turn to me when they have problems regarding the matters of the heart. As a friend, I am always willing to help up to the fullest extent within the range of my capabilities. But what have I got to help them in problems I haven’t even encountered? Hell, I don’t even have a girlfriend. I can’t even find someone who I could connect with in a deeper sense. True, I had been in one relationship but it didn’t even last a quarter of a year. This had me thinking - Is it enough for someone to have experienced the power and pain of love to preach something he wasn’t even able to succeed at? I have nothing against helping others but why me?

Optimists and the likes would say things like ‘your time will come’, or ‘don’t wait, kusa yang darating’. I’m sick and tired of those. I believe in good karma. I believe that I too deserve to be happy. I am hoping that one day all my good karma would manifest. But for now, I guess the only consolation I would get is for the people I have helped in one way or another experience what I have not yet experienced. Who knows? Tomorrow, the next day or the day after next, I might have my own stranger encounter. True or false?